Teens & Sex Statistics
I wasn’t planning on blogging on anything today but my kitchen de-cluttering, but when I got online a headline caught my eye. Tyra Banks is doing a show this Friday on teenagers and unprotected sex. The MSNBC Article discusses how shocked Tyra was at the statistics, and by what girls are admitting, publicly, they have done. One girl went so far as to calculate her most fertile days of the month, and became pregnant on purpose. Another was caught having sex in the bathroom at school, and yet another, who lost her virginity at 13, now at 17 is living with herpes for the rest of her life. A doctor who it sounds like will be featured on Friday’s show,
“Dr. Elizabeth Schroeder, executive director of Answer, a teen sex education program based at Rutgers University, said the survey results sound plausible and are consistent with other research on teen sexuality.
“This so clearly points to the need for comprehensive sexual education for kids,” Schroeder said. “An adolescent … is supposed to be making poor decisions. Developmentally this is the way they’re supposed to be behaving. They need help ….”
I’m sorry, but perhaps I missed something? SUPPOSED to be making poor decisions?? This is how they are supposed to behave? Well if that’s the case, then what is the problem? And MORE SEX ED?? It sounds like all of these girls knows exactly what they are doing. Shall we overlook the fact that since the institution of sexual education in public schools, the incidences of teen pregnancy and teen abortions has multiplied to the tens of thousands? This doctor went on to say that basically it is the parent’s fault, because there isn’t enough communication about sexuality. So if a very well educated girl goes out and gets herself pregnant on purpose, the parents are to blame because they didn’t talk about sex enough. No, society is to blame. Our country has turned things around so backwards!
These girls need to know that they have value in God’s eyes, and that He loves them more than any horny boy could ever fathom. God has a plan for each girl’s life, and deviating from that plan can bring disaster. If parents are guilty of a lack of communication, it is in this area. We as parents are supposed to be working ourselves out of a job. We must raise our children, sons and daughters, to be fully capable adults at the age of 18. This entails the emotional, social, spiritual, vocational, and basic living skills which every person needs. And it requires diligent supervision. Where were the parents of all of these girls? Kids who don’t have the opportunity to have sex, don’t have sex! As my very wise friend Lisa said recently (and her son is dating my oldest daughter) “Parents need to realize that each one of us is just one unsupervised afternoon away from being called ‘Grandma’”.
So talk to your kids about purity, accountability in their dating relationships, and their value in the eyes of God. Pour THAT love into them, and they won’t need to seek it in other places. And know where they are, who they are with, and what they are doing. This is called PARENTING.
Stepping down OFF of my soap box now…
I might watch the Tyra Banks show on Friday, but then again it might just get me angry, so maybe I won’t!
And yes, I talk to my kids about sex. Regularly, in normal conversation.
Wow. This is a subject that gets me riled up, too. I think you hit the nail on the head about supervision. Kids (for the most part) don’t totally get the astounding consequences of many things they do…they very much live in the moment. It is OUR job to make sure they have NO chance to do the ‘deed’ and until parents start being a REAL part of their child’s life instead of only seeing them a couple of hours a day and leaving them to raise themselves, well, the trend will continue. No question.
Also, single parent homes play SUCH a part in this. As a child who basically grew up without a supportive father figure in my life, there was a big part of me who craved male attention and approval. So…I went about finding it the only way a 17 year old girl knows how. Every broken heart led to more self-destructive male attention seeking. The FATHERS of these girls need to be fathers. Period. That also frees up the mothers to be mothers and actually go about the business of mothering instead of struggling just to get food on the table and keep the heat on.
Also, babies have sadly become little more than fashion accessories to these teenage girls. They dress them up like dolls and then leave them home with their grandmothers and go about life just as before! No real consequences because grandma is doing the raising.
I just read a story in our local paper (in fact, I bookmarked it to blog about!) about a 17 year old girl who has THREE children. At 17. Sigh. She said she didn’t really ‘get’ the parenting thing till after she had her third child. Well, if that doesn’t make you wonder what those poor babies have been going through before that ‘lightbulb’ went off in her head. And WHERE was her mother?!? After the first baby (at 13, mind you) why on earth wouldn’t she have stepped up to insure that it didn’t happen again?
Argh. Frustration doesn’t begin to cover how I feel. Then there is the welfare side of it. We PAY them for these babies! Every additional baby that comes along makes that check get bigger. Positive reinforcement much??
Sorry to go off on a tangent in the comments, but like I said, this issue BUGS me. I will talk to my daughter about sex, no question, but I will also do my best not to give her the opportunity to disobey me, as well!
Missy, you are absolutely correct. A friend and I were discussing raising teens and came to the same conclusion: Everyone warns you about how you have to really supervise toddlers and how you can relax once they get past that stage. This is a LIE. Teens take as much, if not more, time and guidance than 3 year olds do. Every choice they make can have a major impact on their lives after high school. Parenting a teen is just as much hands-on as parenting a toddler is! And if you go about it the right way, they will look back on it and respect you for it, too. Abritrary rules and demands get you no where with a teenager. Back up your rules with reasons (and consequences for breaking them), and stand your ground. It’s the only way. I want my kids to be responsible and not have a whole series of years of regrets to look back on like I have.